Of course, you love your spouse and you want them to be happy in the marriage. You may be doing a lot of what you think you should be doing to make your spouse happy. You may be giving little and big gifts. And compliments. All the right stuff. (Or you may not be.) But your spouse may be receiving all your words and actions in ways different from your intentions. For starters, you are of different genders, so you see the world differently. And you come from different families. With different personalities, temperaments and needs.

Don’t guess at it. Ask your spouse “How am I doing?” Ask with genuine curiosity and eagerness to get it right for your spouse, for your marriage.. Have these conversations often. You may even put it on your calendar to have these checkins with each other.