Somehow, we were conditioned that only one person can be right in a conflict. So, if someone close to us disagrees with how we see something, with what we feel, with what we think, one of us has to be wrong. And we don’t want it to be us. That wouldn’t be good for our ego.

So, we try to get the other person to agree with us.

If we just could explain our position more clearly, they would of course agree with us. It’s difficult for us to believe that someone could understand what we’re saying and still not agree with us. So, we try to explain it again, differently.

We try to say it in other words, or louder, or more passionately.

We’d be better off allowing the other to have their thought. “Your perspective makes sense too – coming from that angle.” And, if possible, work with those two different thoughts for a third new idea.

Or agree to accept that there is a difference of perspective. “We each see this differently, and that’s OK.”

As long as we are stuck in the right/wrong, me/you duality, we miss out on a larger view and really don’t stand a chance of working it out to a mutual resolution.