When we see people clearly and lovingly, we are more understanding and forgiving of their words or behavior*.

When we see clearly, we recognize that someone’s comment or behavior may have very little to do with us.

It may be that the other person is hungry, tired, stressed, afraid, reacting from a trigger.

Their actions might very well be reasonable based on the way they see the situation or from their position in the situation. (For example: they may see that doing an errand straight from work is a more efficient use of time, and you may want them to come straight home).

They may be simply acting based on their way of addressing things (For example: in some families, birthdays are not a big thing, even though you think they ought to be.)

With that understanding, we realize that it no longer makes so much sense to be resentful or angry. As appropriate, let it go or have a calm and understanding conversation about it.

*This is not referring to abusive or dysfunctional behavior.