Before Rosh Hashanah, many send greetings, show appreciation, and ask for forgiveness. You may expect or hope for this from those you’ve helped or who may have hurt you. But sometimes, those messages don’t come, or they aren’t quite what you hoped for.

Just let it go—don’t stress over it.

Try to understand. Some people may be in a tough place and simply don’t have the headspace right now to reflect on all that happened this past year. They might not want to revisit difficult times or acknowledge their position in the giver/recipient relationship. Others may struggle to find the right words to express gratitude or apologies; they want to say something but can’t find the words, or their ego holds them back. There could be countless reasons.

You may not know what they’re going through. Instead of judging or giving them the cold shoulder, offer kindness and empathy. Sometimes, those who seem the most distant or ungrateful are the ones who are struggling the hardest. Your unexpected kindness can be the spark that helps them heal.

At the very least, your understanding and kindness can remind you of the kind of person you want to be: someone who rises above resentment and chooses compassion over disappointment.