There are many times that we have different perspectives or different ideas of how things ought to be done. Sometimes, people agree to do something in a way that is different from what they really want. Just to avoid conflict or just shut down the conversation. “OK, fine! We’ll go to the airport 5 hours before the flight. It doesn’t make sense, but whatever.” (eyes rolling) And once at the airport, “Why are we here so early!?”

If you end up agreeing to do something that you really don’t want to do, you will likely be resentful (and possibly even do a lousy job because of the attitude behind it).

Establish a rule for such differences: We don’t agree to something that we don’t agree to. We will talk it through until we both are satisfied with the resolution.

• You may end up compromising or coming up with a creative solution. “OK, and when we get to the airport, I will lose myself in the bookstore and buy myself a new book.”
• You may end up realizing that this is more important to your spouse than it is to you. “I see this is very important to you. You like to give yourself a big buffer in case anything happens.”
• You may see that their way does have validity and you can be willing to try it. “It does make sense. I’ll figure out what I can do with all that extra time in the airport.”

If you are going to yield to the other’s way, do it from a place of willingness, and don’t hold onto resentment.