Don’t “agree to disagree”

When you agree to disagree you are essentially hitting a dead-end, and thus there is a sense of disconnect. You are each holding onto to your own truth without acknowledging that the other person has another interpretation of the same event.

Rather, listen to understand the other’s perspective. Based on their experiences and logic, their perspective makes sense. At least to them. Even if it is not the way you would think about it.

You don’t have to agree or take on their perspective. Rather, validate their perspective and empathize. Make the other feel respected and understood. “I can see why you would think that way. It would be easier to keep the tool box by the front door so you can just run in and get it when you need it. At the same time, I think it is more practical to use that space for coats and briefcases. I really do wish there was another space to keep the tool box close to a door.”

(In essence you are still agreeing to disagree, but the tone is more of respect and understanding than the typical “let’s just agree to disagree” ending to a conversation.)

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