Don’t polarize, assuming it is all your fault or all your spouse’s.

Don’t take the yoke and stress of full responsibility – if it is not all yours.
Don’t push full responsibility (blame) onto your spouse – if you did contribute to the issue.

Most likely it is a case of shared responsibility.
Reflect on what you each have contributed to the issue.
Take responsibility for your part.
And then address the issue together.

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