Advice is someone telling you what to do.  Many times, when we are facing a challenge, we just want someone to tell us what to do. It is so much easier and it takes away our burden.

You may be needing an answer, but is someone else’s advice best?  Are you asking the right person? Are they qualified to provide you with the answer? Are they telling you what they would do in the situation (as they think they know what is going on)?

It is your situation and you know the nuances and context best.  Ultimately, it is your life and you will be the one living with the consequences. So, you really should be making the final decisions for your life.

In most situations, we usually have the solutions inside ourselves, but they just need to be uncovered. What we really need is someone to shed light on what we might not be seeing – from several angles – so we can get a better and more objective understanding of our situation.  They should ask good questions, challenge our thinking, provide fresh perspectives and offer insights. But not advice.

Ask for insights, not advice.  “I’m struggling with this. I’d so appreciate your insights, perspectives and questions to help me work this out.”