When you are talking about something that your spouse did that you don’t like, talk about the behavior, not your judgment of them.

Not “I don’t like when you are nasty.” Rather, “I don’t like when you don’t speak to me all night.” Then, request what you prefer. “What I prefer is that you tell to me what’s on your mind.”

Not, “You are so lazy.” Rather, “I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that I have to do without help.”