Feedback and respectful confrontation are gifts we share to help one another grow.
The key is your intent. If you really are providing the feedback to help your spouse, your words and tone should reflect that. That is, once you know the best way to share your insights.
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Start off by asking for permission to share. “Can I share something?” Then, be future focused, rather than dwell on the past ineffectiveness or issue. It’s easier for others to listen about what hasn’t happened yet – future behavior. “In the future, you might consider adding a story into your Dvar Torah to make it even more interesting.” Compare that to: “Your last Dvar Torah was missing something; it didn’t really capture my attention.” Lastly, if the other person is not willing to receive your feedback, drop it. You don’t need to ram it down their throat.