Don’t ask for feedback; ask for advice. Feedback has the connotation of past-thinking. Advice is forward-thinking.

Feedback is often associated with evaluation, and judgment about performance in the past. This makes it harder to imagine someone’s future and possibly better performance. As a result, feedback givers end up providing less critical and actionable input.

In contrast, when asked to provide advice, people focus less on evaluation and more on possible future actions. Whereas the past is unchangeable, the future is full of possibilities. So, if you ask someone for advice, they will be more likely to think forward to future opportunities to improve rather than backwards to the things you have done, which you can no longer change.

–> “Based on what I just did, what advice can you give me?” rather than “What feedback do you have for me?”