Move toward your goal, not away from the problem. Being more outcome-motivated than avoiding problems has dramatic results.

Changing your emphasis from what you’re against to what your for has dramatic impact. Are you merely against something or do you want to create an important result?

Visualize it. Work toward it.
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“I want a loving relationship.” Rather than, “I can’t stand the fighting.” Even better, be specific.
—-“I want to relax and laugh together on a date once every 2 weeks.”
—-“I want to have better responses to stress. I want to have the frame of mind to breathe through the moment.” Rather than, “I don’t want to scream so much.”