You can’t GET anyone to do anything. Well, you can – if you manipulate, control, bully; none are good for a marriage.

You can only control yourself.

So if you want a different dynamic in your relationship, only look at the area that you can control – yourself.

You can’t get someone to listen to you. But you can make it easier for them to want to listen. Your attitude, words, tone, body language. Those you do control. Those you can change.

You can’t get someone to open up more. But you can make adjustments in the way you respond to their words. Or the way you encourage them to share. Those you do control. Those you can change.

It’s about doing what you can for the ‘us’ of the relationship.

(Note: Sometimes, with all your efforts, your spouse still won’t open up much more – they just very well be very private. You keep on doing what you are doing to open up the lines so they feel more and more comfortable to share. One day, they may just share a bit more. Or not. Even so, focus on all the wonderful aspects of your spouse, even if they are not the listen or sharer you wish for.)