Being a good spouse involves much more than simply fulfilling traditional roles or responsibilities. It’s about being present and attuned to what your partner needs, recognizing that those needs can change as life unfolds. What worked for your relationship a few years ago or even last month may not resonate with your spouse in this moment. So, who do you need to be to support your partner effectively?

Here are two essential tips to help you tune in to your spouse’s needs:

1. Listen, listen, listen. Make a conscious effort to pay attention to their complaints and the things they wish were different. This means not just hearing their words but truly understanding their feelings and concerns. Create an open environment where they feel safe expressing themselves without fear of judgment. Sometimes, the smallest comments can reveal a lot about what your spouse is feeling. So, practice active listening by reflecting back what you hear and asking follow-up questions to dig deeper into their thoughts and emotions.
2. Ask directly. Initiating a conversation by asking, “What can I be doing to make your life better or easier?” demonstrates that you genuinely care about their well-being and are willing to adapt. Regularly checking in can foster deeper communication and strengthen your connection. It’s essential to approach this question with an open heart and a willingness to embrace whatever feedback they offer. This kind of dialogue not only shows your commitment to supporting them but also encourages a mutual exchange of needs and desires.

By actively tuning in and adjusting to each other’s evolving needs, you can create a supportive and loving partnership that grows stronger over time. Remember, being a good spouse is not a destination but a continuous journey of understanding, adapting, and growing together.