As you embark on a particular change that you want in your life, you can use the ADKAR* model which breaks down the change process so that you can better prepare for a successful change. Think about each of the steps. Ask for support to help you in this process.

A: AWARENESS of the need for change. What are the reasons you believe this change is necessary? What is the problem that this change is being designed to solve? [We want Shabbos meals to be happy family times. Right now, our Shabbos meals are just about the food and then we rush to sleep.]

D: DESIRE to support the change. What are factors or consequences – good and bad – that can energize the will to change? What good will happen if the change does occur? What bad will happen if the change does not occur? [If we don’t do this, our kids will dread Shabbos meals. If we do this, we believe our children will look forward to Shabbos meals together and create happy loving memories of family and Shabbos.]

K: KNOWLEDGE of how to make the change (preparation). What are skills and knowledges necessary to make and maintain the change? [We need to figure out what makes a meal family time and engaging for all – conversation starters, songs, games, good food, who does what, etc.]

A: ABILITY to implement the change. What is your ability to actually make the change? What obstacles or barriers may impede you from making the change? [Obstacles we will have to address: In the beginning, the kids may resist; we are so tired; it takes so much work to prepare; we don’t know where to get interesting topics for family discussion….]

R: REINFORCEMENT to make the change stick. What are some reinforcements and incentives that will help retain the change? [Special Shabbos treats; going on trips related to topics brought up by the table….Seeing the family bond.]

Change doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process. It starts with awareness, desire and preparation, and then into actually implementing and reinforcing/maintenance. Start small and adjust the plan. The change is worth the effort.

(The ADKAR model was created by Prosci®)