Happy marriages are about positive feelings – not a perfect 50/50 split.
When a couple writes up a “contract” of who does what, it’s no longer about unconditional love and supporting each other. If there is this keeping of score, there will inevitably be anger and resentment.
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It’s not about being equal in everything, it’s about caring about each other and working together to make things work for the household and relationship. And sometimes it won’t feel fair.
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If one of you is feeling unwell, the other might take over some tasks. Or when one has a deadline at work. Or preparing for a simcha. Or caring for a sick child or parent. One might be doing more work than the other. It may not be equal and fair, but it is the right thing for the situation.
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If you feel like things have been unfair for a while, don’t hold it in. You might say, “I am overwhelmed with all that I am doing. We need to discuss how and who and when things get done so that it feels manageable. When would be a good time for that conversation?” No scorecard needed.