In challenging times, people react based on their unique blend of fears, interests, responsibilities, and experiences (FIRE). Recognize that everyone copes differently, and that’s perfectly fine. The key is to validate and empathize with their perspective rather than judging or belittling them. Let them have their own reactions.

Have conversations – without judgment but with curiosity. You might uncover new aspects of your spouse’s coping mechanisms and how they handle adversity or fear. If their choices or decisions significantly affect you, engage in a respectful dialogue to understand their point of view.

Use phrases like:
• “It would help me if you shared your perspective.”
• “Help me understand how you are experiencing this.”
• “What’s truly going on for you?”
• “What fears or experiences might be influencing your thoughts, emotions, or response?”

📌Your marriage takes precedence over imposing your viewpoint.
If you feel your spouse is exaggerating or catastrophizing, avoid trying to talk them out of it. Show compassion for their anxiety and respect each other’s concerns. Listen to each other so you can come up with a plan that feels reasonable (enough) for both of you. For the sake of your relationship, be willing to compromise, even if you think their reaction is exaggerated.

Likewise, share your own fears and experiences so that your spouse gains a deeper understanding of your perspective.

Say things like:
• “I see things this way based on my experiences…”
• “I’m reacting like this because of my concerns about…”

In these hard times, the aim should be to reduce stress – and definitely not add to it.