Respect your spouse’s need to share the feedback, as hard as it is for you to hear it.
Listen – with respect.
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Bite your tongue.
Do not interrupt. Let him/her say it all.
Do not get defensive.
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Ask questions.
Try to get to the underlying issue (ex: resentment, triggers a memory, need for change).
Try to understand their reasoning/position.
“This sounds important to you. Can you tell me why? I want to better understand.” “Please tell me what’s going on for you right now and how you’re feeling?”