When you are listening to someone, that’s all you should be doing. Listening. Focusing. Not multi-tasking.

Listen with patience. Don’t interrupt or finish their sentences. While they are speaking, listen to understand, not planning how to respond.

Show that you listened and are trying to understand. Paraphrase what the person has said, rather than offering unsolicited advice or opinions. For example, you might say, “I’m hearing that you’re frustrated about this situation.” Summarize what you’ve heard. Then ask “Did I get that right?” You might also ask “Is there more?”

Listen to learn. Listen to empathize. And so often that alone can solve the problem. Because so often it is that people want to be understood and validated.