For you to love, you need to intentionally choose to love, to be loving. Look at your spouse and choose to love that person all over again. Even at the times when they are not so loveable.

The loving can be there alongside whatever else is going on in your relationship. There are the acts of loving . . . and at the same time, there is also seeing what is true about the other person, yourself, and circumstances affecting both of you.

Look for ways to be loving. Love without strings attached. Give more than you take in your relationship. Focus on your own practice of giving and loving, not on what you are receiving.

* (This may not be applicable in abusive relationships.)