Think how you could make it easier for your spouse to increase their positive characteristics (ie: to do more of what you would like to see from them).
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Think about: For my spouse to be more ________, I could ________.

• For my spouse to pitch in more with housework, I could be less concerned with a perfect job and I could show more appreciation.
• For my spouse to spend more time with me, I could join in activities that s/he enjoys.
• For my spouse to give me more of what I want, I could simply ask instead of hope s/he will somehow just know what I want.

Of course, it is not enough to just think it, you must actually act on it.

• Show appreciation for any work that is done.
• Plan and join in activities that s/he enjoys.
• Ask for what you want.