Does your spouse wash the dishes in the wrong way? Do they know that?

There really is no one right way to wash the dishes. It just might be that you have different ideas about how and when to wash the dishes. Neither of you is right or wrong; it’s your expectation that is the problem.

If you don’t discuss your preferred way – or that it matters to you in general – this can easily turn into a rift in your relationship. You walk around frustrated and then resentful. Over time it turns bitter. And then you start to judge their character – they’re lazy, thoughtless, and selfish. They don’t appreciate anything you do for them … They don’t care how much it bothers you… And then worse, you might even start down the slippery slope of “maybe the two of us are too different.” These things can escalate quickly.

It’s important to talk about it. Or, really really just let it be; that means you don’t hold any negative feelings about it either.

If you choose to bring it up, talk about your preference and why you like things to be done in that way.

Then listen and listen again to understand their perspective.

Finally, try to come up with a mutually agreeable solution. Or at the least, recognize that this is just one of the things that you do differently – every marriage has many of those.