Name calling should never be part of your communication. Never.
Find another way to express your feelings other than calling names.
Even if something your spouse did or said was unwise or ineffective or brought negative repercussions, don’t ever resort to name calling.
It attacks the other person.
It damages the relationship.
It won’t change the facts of the situation. It will just make it harder to work through since on top of whatever happened you have this new layer of stress between the two of you.
You absolutely can (and maybe should) talk about what happened. But choose your words wisely – they should be coming from a place of respect and concern.
Lastly, make this a rule in your marriage: No name calling. And if one of you does slip up and does use a derogatory name, they should immediately stop and ask the other for forgiveness.