It’s normal to want to defend yourself or “set things straight.” We all feel the need to protect our ideas, our ego, or our version of the story. But often, that instinct can escalate tension and create unnecessary friction. By choosing not to respond, you’re not giving up your voice or agreeing with something you disagree with—you’re simply choosing peace and prioritizing the relationship over the moment.

You don’t need to respond to every thing your spouse says, especially when it feels triggering. When you feel that tension rising—like you’re about to get defensive or confrontational—pause and ask yourself: Is setting this straight worth my time, my energy, or our relationship?

If the answer is no, visualize their words as snowflakes gently falling to the ground, dissipating without a trace. Tell yourself, “Just let it fall. Our relationship is more important than this.”

If you decide it’s important to share your perspective, choose care and respect. Think about the right setting, timing, and words for the conversation.