To be clear, a WE mentality does not mean that you get to know everything about your spouse. There are many things that can remain private. –Private, not secret.– Conversations between friends, emails, mistakes, past history, what each did during the day. When there is trust, neither feels the need to know.

A WE mentality is about always thinking: Is this good for our marriage? “I am curious what my spouse was talking about, but is it good for my marriage to demand to read the text conversation?”

And the other way: “I just did this stupid thing that I am embarrassed about, is there any value to my marriage to share it?”