Open your heart, open your mouth and share your positive feelings for your spouse.
—
Say it! Tell your spouse how your life is enriched by them.
–
Use the 3 Part Statement:
1. The actions that have contributed to those positive feeling: When I [saw/ hear/ found out]
2. Why those actions affected those positive feelings: because [I need/ want/ interpret/ associate]
3. Those positive feelings: I feel/ felt [so happy, excited, loved, cared for, hopeful, alive, relieved, energized, calm, proud, delighted, gratified, inspired, touched]
Use I statements to avoid positive judgments. —
“When I smelled that chicken cooking in the kitchen (action), I felt soooooo happy (feelings), because I didn’t get any lunch today and I am really hungry (needs).”
–
“When I saw you playing with the kids on the floor and how calm they looked (action), I felt so happy and a sense of nachas (feelings). Meaningful quality family time is so important to me(needs).
–
“When you gave me that coffee that you know I really like (action), I felt so loved (feelings), that you care to notice the details that are important to me and that you just knew I really needed a coffee just now.(needs)