“Stress is caused by being ‘here’, but wanting to be ‘there’.”

Holding onto a past or a dream that is not your reality will drive you crazy. It wastes so much mental energy. And your time that could be spent on the reality that is your life.

Radical acceptance is all about fully accepting your reality in situations that are beyond your control. This doesn’t mean you approve of the situation, are giving up, or that it isn’t painful. You are still allowed to (and should!) feel however you feel, but by accepting that it is what it is, you give the problem less power over you and you can begin to move forward.

Notice when you’re fighting against reality. If you’re feeling bitter or resentful, wishing things were different or thinking about how life isn’t fair, you might be fighting reality.

Acknowledge that there’s no going back to the way things were. Doing this may be challenging and painful, but by identifying what you can and can’t control, you can turn your energy towards coping with the things you can’t change.

Pretend that you’re accepting reality. Even if you’re still struggling to fully accept reality, think about what it would look like if you did. How would you act if you simply accepted things as they are? What would your next step be? Changing your behaviors and actions to reflect “pretend acceptance” can help you to actually shift your thoughts.

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