Firstly, you’ll get the right support faster and with less stress and aggravation from each of you.

And it is not fair to your spouse to have to figure it out. (Is it possible that you do not know what you want or need and so you hope your spouse will figure it out?) Be clear about what you do want them to do, rather what you don’t want. “I’d like for you to carve out 2 hours/ night for this next week for me to finish this project. I need quiet and no distractions.” rather than “I need you to support me” or “I need you to do whatever it takes to let me finish this.”