The best compliments specifically express our appreciation of the other person and our lives are enriched by what the other person has done.

There’s a distinction between “You’re so smart. Those were some good ideas” and “I really appreciate your insights. I learned some new strategies that I can implement to really make this next step move more smoothly. I am feeling much more confident.”

In some subtle way, the first statement has a level of labeling and judging – some sort of assessment of who ‘you are’. The second is much richer and authentic, as it is more detailed and shares an appreciation of our experience of the other person. (Caveat: If someone does compliment with a ‘you’ statement, trust that they truly want to acknowledge you.)The elements of a rich compliment – the order doesn’t really matter. Not every compliment you give needs all parts:

• This richer compliment includes an “I statement” – sharing how you feel. “I so appreciate…” “I enjoyed …” “I feel so …”.

• The next important element is what they have done – with specificity, as possible include details.

• Lastly, add how your life was enriched by what they did or how they contributed to your life.

“Thank you for such a nutritious and delicious meal. With all that is going on, I wasn’t really eating properly and my body was really beginning to feel it. Just eating a better meal, and knowing that someone cares has given me strength. I am so much less overwhelmed now. Thank you!”