The one who takes offense is the loser

Most of the time, the other person did not intentionally set out to offend you. There is a reasonable explanation for what was said or done. Perhaps not to your liking, yet reasonable all the same.

When we take offense, it limits our ability to see the situation objectively. We focus on everything that is wrong rather than the whole story. It is very difficult to have a relationship (nevermind a loving one) when we think “how dare s/he?” Such a state of mind is a self-punishment. You are putting the other in a position of power; they get to control your thoughts, affect your behavior and limit the way you live your life. Sometimes, you might then avoid, sulk or stonewall the other. That takes effort.

Instead, put your effort into keeping your own power. Control your thoughts, talk it out and move on.

Caveat: If you are noticing a pattern, find a calm time to reflect together and explore what is going on.

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