During the Peaceful & Joyous Yom Tov conference call, Velvel & Estie Lipskier shared the importance of having discussions before Yom Tov to prepare and plan for all aspects of Yom Tov so things run smoothly. Yom Tov is not one of those things that you can ‘just play it by ear’.

Inspired by that talk, Adai Ad shares some important discussions to have before Yom Tov. To access the entire list, go to: http://adaiad.orglipskier-peaceful-yomtov/. You can also find the recording of the talk and a PDF of some key takeaways.

The list ‘To Talk About’ includes areas such as hosting, being guests, the children, schedules, setting up budgets, shopping, mitigating stress and nurturing your own relationship.

Just a sampling:

• As guests: Where are you eating each meal? What time are you expected at your host’s home? What should you bring? What ought you know about the host family?
• The children: Who will take care of cranky, tired, hungry children during the meal? How will the meal proceed while one is tending to the children?
• What both of you can do to ensure that davening and shul participation is not stressful. (This might include preparing the children in the morning, snacks for the children, etc.)
• Figure out which aspects are most stressful for each of you. Work on those first. Be creative.
• Get help for your most stressful responsibilities. Some people prefer someone take the kids, others prefer food prep help, others prefer cleaning help, other prefer shopping help.