When we are going through a challenge or a transition, we need the support of others. Different people prefer different types of support.

 Know your style and seek it out. You may want different types of support from different people. And, this may change over time and depend on the situation.

 Similarly, when someone you love is going through a transition, don’t assume you know what they’d like to hear. Ask before you speak. “What kind of support would you like from me?”

 Comforters are those who comfort and encourage you. They want to know that you are on their side and believe in them. “I love you”; “I trust you”; “You can do it.” (This is most people’s preference.)

 Nudgers are those who are supportive, but gently encourage you to try something new, or see things in a different way. “I love you, but maybe you should try this.” (Nudgers came in second.)

 Slappers used a more direct approach. They shake you into action. “I love you but get over yourself.” (Came in third, but did make it onto the list.)

(from Life is in the Transitions)