Talk about your understandings of the roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife, father and mother. Make sure both of your understandings are aligned; they don’t have to be exactly the same.

The idea is to see that you can work with each other’s general outlook in these areas. If your ideas are similar, that’s great. If they are too far apart, you will run into these issues all the time. You don’t have to go through every detail about who takes out the garbage and who shops for groceries.

Some questions to ask:

• “In your family, what was the role of your mother/father as a parent? What did you like and hope to have in your own family? What would you like to be different?” Each of you should answer this question about each of their parents.
• “What are your ideas of the role of a mother/father? Where did you get those ideas?” Each of you should answer about each role – mother and father.
• “In your family, what was the role of your mother/father as a spouse? What did you like and hope to have in your own family? What would you like to be different?” Each of you should answer this question about each of their parents.
• “What are your ideas of the role of a wife/husband? Where did you get those ideas?” Each of you should answer about each role – wife/husband.
• “How do you envision a household being maintained? How will the various tasks be done – by whom, how will that be determined?”
• “How do you envision a marriage relationship grows and deepens? What is the role of each of the couple?”