If your partner is upset or quiet or down, don’t assume you know why. So often, assumptions are based on your own perspectives, not facts.
If you’re upset or quiet or down, don’t assume your spouse knows why.

No matter how connected you both may be, you’re not mind-readers.
As soon as you assume that you understand your partner’s behavior, listening stops and what’s really going on isn’t shared. The real issue won’t get addressed. And it can leave your spouse and you feeling distanced.

Communicate as clearly as possible, and as frequently as possible. “I’m feeling ____ because ____.”

Ask. Asking for your partner’s perspective reduces the chances of misunderstanding and clarifies your partner’s needs and desires. “You seem quiet today. What is going on for you?” “I don’t want to assume or guess, let’s talk about it when you are ready.”