Wondering, guessing and assuming someone’s thoughts and intentions are all speculating. – Speculating does little to find out your spouse’s actual thoughts and intentions.
Speculations generate feelings of powerlessness. And they invite misunderstandings.
—
– Assuming: “I’m sure you’ll never get around to it.”
– Guessing: “I bet you want to go with your friends today instead of with me.”
– Wondering: (thinking to self) “I wonder if we can afford to do it.”
—
Instead of speculating, ask.

Assuming: “I’m sure you’ll never get around to it.”
Asking: “I would like this to get done before next week, when is a good time to do it?” Guessing: “I bet you want to go with your friends today instead of with me.”
Asking: “I’d really like to spend time together. What would you like to do together today?” Wondering: (thinking to self) “I wonder if we can afford to do it.”
Asking: “I’d really like to do it. Can we afford it?”