Think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party.

Often, it is helpful to think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for all involved. How might this person resolve the disagreement?

This is not always so easy to do in the moment of disagreement. So, it is worthwhile to think in advance about how you want to incorporate this mindset into your life. Think about what obstacles you might face. How might you be more successful in this?

As a couple, you might come up with a code word between the two of you that either of you can say to help bring in that ‘third person’ perspective. “Let’s invite Sam here. What might Sam say about the different ideas shared here?”

Like ‘Sam’ might do, look for what you do agree on. Proactively ask questions along the lines of: 💬“Where are we aligned?” 💬“What points of view do we share?” 💬“Which areas do we agree on?”

And then work from that common goal to come up with a solution that can work for both. 💬“We both want a memorable family experience. We have different ideas of what that looks like. What other ideas can we come up with that can address both of our desires?”