Happiness is our natural state. Children are born happy. Somewhere along our years, we lose some of that. The happiness is still there – in our soul – albeit covered with worries and concerns.

An important way to uncover that natural happiness is by being other-focused and less self-focused. By doing for others, you get a sense of accomplishment and self-worth, and you focus less on what you need and what is missing in your life.

There are so many opportunities to do for others. To garble a famous quote: Think not what others can do for you, but what you can do for others. Start with your own family. What can you do for your spouse? You can start with something small like a smile or a few words of acknowledgment. Prepare a favorite food or cut a salad. Take a task off their list.

Don’t think of what you wish your spouse would be doing for you. Start by doing for them. And then the reciprocity cycle usually is jumpstarted.