What is it that makes your spouse smile? What can help him/her get out of a bad mood? What can energize him/her?

Ask directly. “What can I do to help you when you are feeling like this?” (When your spouse asks you this question, answer truthfully and fully. Your spouse really does want to be there for you. And s/he can’t read your mind.)

With time as you learn what brings that smile, do whatever it is. Often. Even when s/he isn’t feeling down. Just do it – just because.