There is a real distinction between merely hearing the words and really listening for the message. Unlike ‘hearing’ what the speaker is saying, listening requires our full concentration which involves using all of our senses on what exactly is being said.

The words they are saying are not telling the whole story. When you tune into the way they are talking, you can get a better sense of what is going on for them.

Listen in for context.

Tune into the nonverbals. So much of a message is conveyed through voice – pitch, tone, volume, speed. For example, when someone speaks quickly and more loudly it could mean that they are excited about the topic.

Tune into body language. Eyes, hands, posture, and facial expressions tell so much. So do gestures (waving, pointing, clenched fists) and other body movements (fidgeting, pacing). Also, look at where they choose to position themselves.

Choice of words can also be telling. There are many ways to express an event. Is the story told from an angle of care and concern, from complaint, from excitement, from empathy or self-pity?

Listen beyond the words – with your heart as well as your ears.