When your spouse brings up concerns or requests for change, how you respond can impact the issue at hand. And even more so, your whole relationship. These are ways that some people respond that is not helpful to the issue and definitely to the relationship. Don’t respond in these ways.

➡️ Don’t Stonewall: Don’t shut down communication or withdraw from the conversation entirely, refusing to engage with your spouse’s concerns. This can leave the other person feeling unheard and frustrated. ❌ Don’t say: “I don’t want to talk about this right now; let’s just drop it.”

➡️ Don’t Counter-attack: Don’t deflect by bringing up unrelated grievances or criticizing your spouse instead of addressing the concern that they brought up. This just escalates the conflict rather than seeking resolution. ❌ Don’t say: “Well, if we’re going to talk about things you don’t like, let’s talk about your flaws too.”

➡️ Don’t Ignore: Don’t ignore or dismiss your spouse’s requests for change. This can demonstrate a lack of respect for their needs and undermine the trust and intimacy in the relationship. ❌ Example: Silence or changing the subject when your spouse brings up an issue.