Sometimes, it is just a request for information and there really isn’t nefarious intent.

“Did you just use the credit card?” can simply mean that your spouse received a notification and wants to confirm that it isn’t fraud. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are checking into your shopping habits or disapproving of your purchase.

If you experience a twinge of deeper intent, it might be that the question triggers something in you and you might be reacting to a past experience more than to this particular ask.

Recognize that, and simply answer the question without bringing in your interpretation into the conversation. “Yes, I just bought XYZ at the store.” At a later point, you might discuss how the question made you feel based on some previous experience.