Emotions are our natural guidance system—and they are more effective when we don’t try to fight them. There are major benefits to feeling what we don’t want to feel. Our emotions are telling us something about what is important to us.

When we get the job or get recognition for our contributions, we feel happy or proud. A good job, appreciation, nachas – those are things we value, and when they show up in our lives, we have positive emotions.

On the flip, when something upsets us, it is that something that we value is not happening. If life throws you a curveball, the sense of stability and security that you value has been thrown off and you can feel some negative emotions, like fear or sadness.

Emotions help us to evaluate our experience and detect when an area of life feels off and needs our attention. When we tune into our emotions, we can learn valuable lessons about what we want to change and how we want to act in the future.

When we do not ignore, invalidate or suppress our negative emotions and we get clear on precisely what we are feeling, we can respond by taking steps that are value-aligned.