Think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for all involved.

How might this person think about the disagreement? How might they find the good that could be in the situation?

This is not always so easy to do in the moment of disagreement. It is worthwhile to think in advance about how you want to incorporate this mindset into your life. Think about what obstacles you might face? How might you be more successful?

As a couple, you might come up with a code word between the two of you that either of you can say to help bring in that ‘third person’ perspective. “Let’s invite Sam here.”