Sometimes we might think, “I can’t listen to this. I’m outta here.” Often, that is a time that we really should be listening and tuning in. It may be that whatever is being shared may be uncomfortable to hear, it may be that we might have to make a change. And we don’t want to go there – because we don’t like to be uncomfortable. (Of course, it may be the way it is being shared that makes it even harder to hear.)

When we aren’t feeling it, when we start tuning out, is when we really ought to be listening, tuning in. Listening to understand the other person, listening to connect to them.

If we are tuning out, then there is probably something going on between us and the other person that needs to be rectified. It’s time to really listen. “What is going on for you?”

In other words, no tuning out, ignoring, disengaging, refusing to acknowledge. No stonewalling or silent treatments. These end up bringing distance. Not only from conversation. But worse, it is creating emotional distance. Not only will we have the original problem, we have just exasperated it with this distancing disposition.