This is deflecting.Instead of staying with what’s being brought up, this phrase flips the focus to their behavior — dodging your own accountability. It might feel like self-protection in the moment, but deflecting shuts down honest, connected conversation. And ultimately, the relationship. Pause and ask yourself:✨ What feels uncomfortable right now? ✨ What part of […]
Words to avoid: “Well, what about when you …” Read More »
This simple line shares your inner world.You are sharing it as your perspective—not the ultimate truth.You’re not stating it as a fact or making an accusation—just naming the way something lands for you. 💛 “The story I tell myself when you bring me coffee is that you want to make me smile.” It works for
Words to use: “The story I tell myself is …” Read More »
Using the phrase “This is what I’m thinking” shows that you’ve put thought into the situation and that you’re offering your perspective in an open, non-defensive way. It’s a great way to introduce an idea or a plan while also showing that you’re open to hearing the other person’s thoughts and willing to adjust if
Words to use: “This is what I’m thinking.” Read More »
When dividing tasks, it’s important to approach it as a shared responsibility, not as one person helping the other. Offering to take on certain tasks with the phrase “I’ll tackle that” signals both willingness and collaboration. However, tone matters—saying it with enthusiasm and a positive attitude is key. Don’t say it begrudgingly or as if
Words to use: “I’ll tackle that.” Read More »
You don’t have to have an answer the moment a question is asked. Sometimes, you really do need to think about it—and that’s okay. Saying something like “That’s a good question. Let me think about it.” gives you space to reflect while also showing respect for the other person and the topic. It signals that
Words to use: “That’s a good question. Let me think about it.” Read More »
Saying something like “I see what you mean” shows that you’re actually listening and that you respect their perspective—even if you don’t agree, even if you ultimately choose a different direction. It’s perfectly okay to have different viewpoints; you don’t always have to agree. But it’s important to value and hear the other person, and
Words to use: “I see what you mean.” Read More »
Too often, we assume we know what someone needs—advice, solutions, or maybe just space. But instead of guessing, try asking, “How can I support you right now?” This simple question shifts the focus from fixing to understanding. It allows the other person to define what feels helpful in the moment—whether that’s a listening ear, a
Words to Use: “How can I support you right now?” Read More »
Compliments are nice, but admiration goes deeper—especially in marriage. Instead of just saying “You’re amazing” or “Thanks for everything,” try “I admire how patient you were with the kids today” or “I admire how you handled that tough conversation with so much wisdom.” Rather than a general “You’re such a great spouse,” say “I admire
Words to Use: “I admire how you…” Read More »
This phrase is great when you want to offer a different nuance or perspective without dismissing what the other person just shared. It’s an invitation to introduce your viewpoint while being considerate of their feelings and perspective, without minimizing their experience. By asking permission, you show respect for their input and create space for a
Words to Use: “Can I share another version of that?” Read More »
Or similar: “What I’ve learned [that this topic is important to you].” Responding in this way allows you to validate your spouse’s feelings or concerns. It demonstrates that you’re processing what they’ve shared and giving it the weight it deserves. Even if you’re triggered by the conversation, focusing on the value of the information helps
Words to use: “This is helpful to know.” Read More »
