Someone’s actions or inactions make us angry. We think it is because of what they did, as if we are victims of their actions. It really might be that we are angry at ourselves – for not upholding a boundary, for not being assertive enough, for creating an atmosphere where they could do that. Too […]
Month: July 2021
Think loving thoughts about someone you resent or has upset you.
Free yourself from the self-defeating energy of negative thoughts about someone. Think loving thoughts about someone you resent, wishing them good fortune and blessings. Pray that they receive all the wonderful things you want for yourself in life. Say it out loud, “Hashem: please give love, health and peace to [whomever] today.” Do this as […]
Words to Avoid: “I did it to show you what it feels like.”
This is an immature and petty response. If there was something that happened that you didn’t like, then there are so many more mature ways to address it than mirroring back to them what they did to you.
Self-blame is a coping mechanism. And it is futile.
People like to feel in control of their lives. And because so much of life is really out of control, we try to reassert some influence over our own lives. We grasp for any sense of control – sometimes, by blaming ourselves for a situation we find ourselves in or for something that happened to […]
Peel the onion of your thoughts.
Sometimes, we don’t understand our own thoughts or motivations. It is worth digging deeper by asking powerful questions – one layer at a time to get to the crux of the issue. Good questions can open up an awareness that you might not have realized. Questions challenge a different part of our brain bringing about a different […]
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [07/25/2021]
3 Conversations you might have this week What helps you unwind after a busy or full day? What would you rather an all expense paid vacation weekend or free rent or mortgage for 3 months? What is something we can do before the summer is over? 2 Quotes to inspire you “Forget all the reasons […]
Accept discomfort. Your comfort zone will expand.
If you consistently avoid discomfort, you are restricting yourself to a rather small comfort zone. And you’ll miss out on so much of life. It is doing things that are difficult that helps us grow. Comfort doesn’t. If you want to achieve great things, you have to be in the discomfort zone sometimes. If you […]
You are not your thoughts.
Thoughts flit into your mind all the time. They are just thoughts. They are not absolute truths. Those thoughts don’t describe you. Just because you are thinking or feeling unworthy, does not mean that you are not worthy. When you have intrusive, negative or scary thoughts you don’t have to take them as truths. Rather […]
Words to Avoid: “Why can’t you just …”
The implication is that ”there’s something wrong with you and I can’t believe that you do things like you do.” Don’t say things like “Why can’t you just be normal?” “Why can’t you just do it already?” “Why can’t you just listen to me?” These words are usually said out of frustration. When you are […]
When you are triggered, be curious about why you are reacting that way.
Do you get triggered? Dr. Gabor Mate describes it like this: Think of an explosive device – there’s the explosives and ammunition, and then also the trigger. When you are triggered by something said or done, the explosives were already in you from before – just waiting to be set off. The question shouldn’t be […]