When it comes to facing challenges or new experiences, it’s better to be prepared than to plan. Planning often involves setting specific goals, expectations and steps, which can lead to disappointment if things don’t go as expected. Preparation, on the other hand, is more of a mindset about being ready for whatever comes our way. […]
Month: November 2024
What to say when your words come out wrong
We all have moments when our words don’t land the way we intended. When that happens, it’s important to acknowledge the impact of what was said. Try saying, “I can see how that was hurtful,” or “I understand how that could have been confusing.” These phrases show empathy and validate the other person’s feelings. Follow […]
“‘I’m sorry; I am just pathetic’ isn’t the apology I need.”
When you say, “I’m sorry. OK, so I’m not a good (enough) husband/wife,” or throw out phrases like “I’m so pathetic” or “You deserve better than this,” it doesn’t feel like a real apology to me. It feels like you’re deflecting. Honestly, it seems like you’re sidestepping the hurt I’m feeling. Those self-pitying apologies don’t […]
Words To Use: “If it bothers you, it matters to me”
“If it bothers you, it matters to me” or “I know we are each in charge of our own feelings, but yours matter to me.” These phrases are powerful in relationships because they validate your partner’s emotions and show empathy, even when you don’t fully understand or share their feelings. By acknowledging their experience, you […]
Blame doesn’t bring accountability or change.
Blaming someone rarely leads to accountability or real change. Why? Because blame makes people defensive. Instead of feeling accountable, they start looking for excuses or someone else to blame. It shuts down productive conversations and growth. Instead, create an atmosphere of understanding. For example, instead of saying, “You don’t care enough to do [something important […]
Why “I’m sorry” doesn’t work. What you should say instead.
Too often, when we say “I’m sorry,” it’s less about genuine remorse and more about wanting to stop the other person from being upset. But what people truly want when they feel hurt is to feel understood, not just hear an apology. So if you’ve hurt someone, even unintentionally, start by understanding their perspective. Then, […]
How do you need to show up to be a good wife/husband?
Being a good spouse involves much more than simply fulfilling traditional roles or responsibilities. It’s about being present and attuned to what your partner needs, recognizing that those needs can change as life unfolds. What worked for your relationship a few years ago or even last month may not resonate with your spouse in this […]
What to say when someone puts words in your mouth.
We’ve all been there—someone distorts what we’ve said or assumes our feelings. Comments like, “You just think everyone should agree with you,” “So you believe that I’m always wrong,” or “You’re saying you don’t care about this issue at all,” can leave us feeling frustrated. When faced with these kinds of statements, it’s important to […]
What does your behavior say about what you really want?
Understanding our behavior can reveal deeper insights into our desires and motivations. When we take a step back to reflect on our actions, we often uncover what we genuinely want, even if it contradicts our verbal expressions or what we think we want. For instance, if you often forget to reply to your partner’s texts […]