So often we use judgment as a way of avoiding feeling some pain. We project outward what we don’t want to feel within. When we are feeling those feelings of shame and inadequacy, we project out that shame and inadequacy onto somebody else so that we don’t have to feel them. For many of us, […]
Month: February 2022
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [2/27/2022]
3 Conversations you might have this week 1. What weird conspiracy theory do you believe? 2. A memory that I’m grateful for is … 3. What might be a nickname that fits a part of who you are? Why? 2 Quotes to inspire you 1. “If you don’t learn from your mistakes, they will become […]
Frame mistakes as opportunities for growth.
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. Humans make mistakes. But if we simply apologize and carry on as before, we’re in danger of repeating the same errors. And certainly, there is no benefit from punishing ourselves for mistakes. Have compassion for yourself. When we don’t learn from […]
Words can be time machines to the past.
Certain words can send us back to moments in our past that were hurtful and upsetting – highlighting some old insecurities. When you know what triggers you, you can be better prepared to recognize that those words are loaded for you and that it isn’t so much about what was just said. That alone can […]
Words to Avoid: “I don’t care. You decide.”
“I don’t care, you decide” isn’t the name of a restaurant. You may think you’re being nice or accommodating. It doesn’t always land on the other person that way. More often than not, your flexibility is unkind. You are leaving the mental work to them – to make the decision that impacts both. They are […]
People-pleasing is a form of manipulation.
People-pleasing is a way of trying to control our environments and other people. We are trying to get a certain outcome by doing something (or avoiding something). In other words, we are trying to manipulate the situation. When we are people-pleasing*, we are not sharing our authentic self, we are not giving feedback to the […]
Do it scared.
“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” ― Carrie Fisher Fear diminishes when we confront it. Doing it comes before it goes away. Doing whatever it is makes things better. Avoiding it doesn’t make […]
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [2/20/2022]
3 Conversations you might have this week What is a strength for which you are grateful? What’s the craziest thing a boss has ever asked you to do? Where do you think you fit on the ‘fixed-growth mindset’ continuum? It might be different for different areas of your life? 2 Quotes to inspire you “A […]
If it isn’t working, try something else.
If what you have been doing is working anymore (or it never really worked in the first place), let it go. This applies to the way you’ve been trying to make your spouse change, nagging, food choices, budget plans, and so many other things. Do something different, anything different. Try something new. You may not […]
“What if this was all OK?”
In moments that seem overwhelming or stressful, ask yourself, “What if this was all OK?” What if this incident or situation really didn’t hold any threat over you or have any power over your happiness and peace of mind? Imagine that your safety is intact even while this is going on. In reality, all* is […]