September 2020

Forgiveness may not be enough. Sometimes, you need boundaries

Forgiveness can’t always make the situation better – especially if the offense continues. Yes, you can release the previous pain and hurt. But then it happens again. If you have done some true self-introspection to determine that you are not being supersensitive, or the act is obviously egregious, then it is worthwhile to set up […]

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The doors to goodness are unlocked; but you’ll never know until you try to open them

Hashem has goodness in store for everyone. Everyone. Often, it is just on the other side of the door. To open that door, you just have to turn the handle. You may have to give it a little nudge or push. But the door to your goodness and opportunity is already open. Sometimes, there are

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Words to Use: “Please help me better understand”

As unique individuals coming from different backgrounds, there will be instances where you and your spouse view things from different perspectives. You may not fully appreciate why something is so important or meaningful to them. It’s best to ask for more information, “Please help me better understand what about this is so important to you.”

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Words to Avoid: “That’s so stupid”

Other versions of this are: That’s ridiculous. That’s ignorant. That’s unrealistic.
You may not agree with the other person’s words, ideas or point of view. Nonetheless, you should always respect them.
When you say such words, you are probably trying to get the other person to see your perspective. Now think about how these words land on the other person. Will they be willing to listen? Not likely. And now on top of the difference of ideas, you have added disrespect unnecessarily.
There’s a better way. “I can see your point. I don’t think it is the best course of action because ….” “Your plan can be problematic and here’s why…”

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Seeing the other’s perspective can help with forgiveness

When you are able to see things from another person’s perspective, then you are able to ask for forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. – Rabbi YY Jacobsonhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/gGxPpoLsvrk?start=786…–When someone does something that causes you pain, it often helps to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to see the situation from their perspective. Instead of

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