Dr. Margo Neuberger talks about how family impacts marriage, about attachment styles and how you can have a successful marriage no matter your childhood and family dynamics. She also covers how to share about your family on a date.
Month: June 2022
Words to use: “What does it mean to you”
When you ask “What does [it] mean to you?” with genuine curiosity, you are seeking to get to know the other person a bit better. People can have varied thoughts and feelings about the same situation or experience. Similarly, words have different connotations for different people. “What does that award mean to you?” “What does […]
There’s nothing good about expectations.
If we have expectations* of people, one of two things can happen and neither is good. 1. We have an expectation of someone and they don’t live up to it. Then, we feel disappointed or frustrated or angry. This leads to nagging, bickering or resentment. 2. We have an expectation of someone and they do […]
Instead of having assumptions and expectations, make agreements.
An assumption is something that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. We assume somebody will do something. We assume that the activity will be accomplished. But there’s no proof that it will happen. An expectation is a hope or belief that something will happen. We hope or believe that something […]
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward Sometimes, we really are grateful for what someone has done for us – but still we don’t express it to them.Not necessarily because we didn’t want to. Maybe we couldn’t find the best way or words, […]
Focus on your spouse’s strengths to strengthen your marriage.
Know each other’s strengths and gifts, and then highlight and appreciate those. Work together to develop those strengths. People calibrate their behavior based on what is valued and recognized, and what isn’t. Our beliefs about our spouse really affect how they view themselves in life in general and in the marriage. When you are cognizant […]
Mental Illness & Marriage
Dr. Yossi Shafer talks about shidduchim and mental illness. Covering: Why and how to share about a mental illness. What a relationship is all about and how that relates to marrying someone with a mental illness.
Words to use: “What could I have done differently?”
This is a great question to ask when something didn’t pan out as you had expected or hoped. You can ask this question to yourself as a reflection question. You might think along the lines of “What can I tweak to get different results?” “What could I do to prevent this from happening in the […]
It’s important to have friends when you’re married.
Of course, you and your spouse should have a deep friendship with each other. Additionally, you each should have friends besides each other – in a healthy balance. After spending some time with friends, we can come back to the relationship feeling fulfilled and energized. Make time for your friends. Allow time for your spouse’s […]
“Expectations = Resentment” It doesn’t have to be that way.
It’s not that having expectations is inherently wrong, it’s more about what you do when those expectations don’t pan out. You expected your [friend/ spouse/ whoever] to remember your birthday (and celebrate it in some special way). But they didn’t. Now what? It was a reasonable expectation, but it didn’t happen quite that way. You […]